"Battle of Finances aka hold of IPL"

To the readers - This is an email reply that I gave to one of my single friends when he was trying to convince us to go for an IPL match between RCB n KKR...the names are changed but the mood would be evident to you all..Hope you like the funny twist to young couples trying their hands at saving money...


Dear Major General Patton Majumdar aka 'Beer Tanker's tunnel',

I'm confused, why haven't you been preview to this change in the ongoing "Battle of Finances aka hold of IPL". All parties fell back on the charge due to significant casualties on their finance front. The news about the retreat was relayed through the corporate band over the WWW network. The message was encrypted and sent with utmost secrecy.

The 4 platoon commanders came up to this decision due to following reasons -

1. Commander Phull - When the order came, at first Commander Phull aka 'Khajanchi calculator' was brave enough and decided to lead the charge without his longtime trusted Lieutenant, Pinki Phull aka 'Joshilee Punjaaban'. However, after being briefed by her on the immobility caused to the movement of the currency soldiers due to the bombardment by HaDaFaaCee(deadly arm of the infamous Kamakaze squadron) on the newly acquired bomb shelter, he decided to give Lieutenant Pinki Phull a hand in gathering the currency soldiers for the renovation and decoration of the bomb shelter.

2. Commander Baruah - As you're aware he has a fully stacked garrison which has a great supply of existing INR soldiers and now backed by the US currency soldier aid given during his trip for the US treaty negotiation. Moreover, with the current coalition with the  partisans resistance currency soldiers, Commander Baruah aka 'Silent drinker' was the first to send his troops for attacking the fox hole dug by the ticket counters. He was determined to blow the IPL ticketing counters out of their fox holes to kingdom come along with the fierce Lieutenant payal Baruah aka 'Dynamically Darpok Lalita ji' . Unfortunately, he was given the sad news of the other 3 Commanders not being able to the "Battle of Finances aka hold of IPL" due to the overall casualties in the ongoing "WAR of Expenses", he remembered that every currency soldier is worth saving when the time comes. Hence he decided to back out for now.

3. Commander Pant - Commander Pant was determined to give out a fully fledged, all out attack at "Battle of Finances aka hold of IPL" and so agreed when he heard that all his trusted fellow Commanders have agreed to go to the battle. Bizarrely, somewhere in his excitement of gathering the precious FUEL and reliving the daily war games with friends, he forgot the war field diagrams and intricate mission planning that his stern, calculative, right hand WO-man, lieutenant Babali Pant had done for the future. After reading the official deployment orders accepted by Commander Pant, she confronted him. She briefed him about the heavy push that the ferocious Banker's Brigade will put on them when they will be mounting attack to win the Home post. Sadly, he had to hold his adrenaline rush and ask his currency soldiers to form position in the ammunition factory called the 'ladies purse'.

4. Commander Mukherjee - He was also among the first few to blow the whistle to his calm and calculative subordinate Lieutenant Romita Mukherjee aka 'Shaant Toofaan''s plans of fortifying their current position with newly liberated currency soldiers that have joined after she rescued(and continues to..) them from The Publishing House POW camp. Realizing Commander Mukherjee aka 'Timepass Pujaari' 's Gung-Ho attitude and his weekend mission to sabotage the IPL ticketing counter's propaganda meeting of their secret service groups RCB and KKR, Lieutenant Mukherjee lured him to a more important espionage adventure. She told him about the ultimate plan of cutting supplies to the most dreaded henchmen in the 'War of Expenses', General Tax collector's headquarter IT department. So TP has set out on the espionage mission to invest his currency soldiers on capturing the Concorde(their house project) fighter plane.

As you can see the vigor was to do give you total support on the "Battle of Finances aka hold of IPL" but due to the enlightening revelation of bigger 'WAR OF THE EXPENSES' decided to hold off the advance until everyone regroups with filled BANKS(pronounced TANKS) to support you in the future battles.

Looking at your kind cooperation to support us by your currency soldiers kept on reserve. If you can provide them to us the 4 Commanders and their Lieutenants would do their best to lead your troops at the "Battle of Finances aka hold of IPL" and provide you required support to make it a memorable WIN.

On Behalf of the force 4 from Bangalore.

Thanks,

Comm. Pant 

South India Vs the Great North Indian "Hindi"

Destination of a soul isn't defined by the place of origin of the body!!

- Blogger's original.

Born in a family with a defense background, I grew being influenced by the stories from my granddad, dad and uncle during WW2, China aggression or the infamous wars with our “neighbors”. The selfless acts of heroics by the armed personnel were a delight and revelations for my young psyche. Out of the scores of adventures, one particular story stuck with me for life. This incident happened when British troops were ordered to infiltrate the Japanese resistance in Burma after their invasion in December 1941. After suffering heavy causality in North Africa, the British Army was not ready to launch an operation until the British army was trained in guerrilla warfare. In January 1943, the task of advancing into Burma was given to the Indian troops. The 14th Indian Division, with troops mainly from Madras, and they included Tamils, Telagu, Malayalam, Singalese, Goalese, Gurkha, Pathan and Baluchis, started along the Burmese coast to the port of Akyab. Burma was criss-crossed with jungle, mountains, rivers and mangrove swamps.

Where the Japanese were stationed, they had dug themselves in. Most could only be destroyed by heavy artillery and moving such equipment about in Burma was extremely difficult. Combined to the well-placed and well-built bunkers, was the fighting spirit of the Japanese who fought until death.

It was among the troops of the 14th Division that the story unfolds. After 14 days of dreadful journey on foot the division CO(Company Officer) received intelligence about a heavily fortified bunker with 2 type 92 heavy machine gun(nicknamed “woodpecker” because of the particular sound it made when fired) and probably 1 or 2 type 94 90mm infantry mortars with about 10 men holed in. The team had to move very warily as there was an evident threat of sniper fire. The CO was a young Punjabi lad from Amritsar and the only senior officer to take orders from HQ. It was imperative that the CO is guarded and kept alive until they reach the allied out post. The second in command, who was mid age Chennai (Madras) man insisted that he would wear the COs hat and overcoat so that the Japanese snipers would mistake him for the CO. So he wore the COs accessories and walked in the center surrounded by 4 soldiers. The team had taken just 10 steps when a shot was heard and the man’s forehead was cracked open. Anyone could tell that he had died even before he fell to the ground. There were no more gun shots as the work was done and the Japanese sniper knew the troops we direction less and will be ambushed anytime soon. The body was retrieved and another soldier who, as grand dad recalled, was a Goanese sipahi (foot soldiers in Hindi) quickly picked up the blood stained hat and overcoat to sacrifice his life for the rest of the squad. I never got to know how many people died during that 5 kilometer hike but this episode of extreme selfless sacrifice left a sense of great pride and unity in my mind for the Indian spirit. The life which was saved many times that day was not questioned on the basis of which state it came from and what was its “mother tongue”.

This brings me to the prevalent ignorance that I was a preview to when I moved to the Southern part of India a few years back. I shifted to a major cosmopolitan city in Karnataka sometime around 2007. Even before becoming the silicon valley of our country it was a desired destination for students from across India because of the inconceivable availability of seats for Medical and Engineering colleges. Thousands of Indian students came to this, once a quiet and peaceful place, popularly known as the “Pensioners Paradise”. The city witnessed a great influx of students from around the country but primarily from the Northern and the West side. Law and order blamed the rise in crime rate to the increase in population and extravagant night life. Somewhere during this time, they conveniently held the so called “HINDI” speaking “North Indians” responsible for this mayhem.

During my stay in the city in the next 2 years, I came across many occasions when I was asked if I knew the local language, Kannada. To which I replied that I don’t need to as my office colleagues or my local friends either speak with me in little Hindi or suitably converse in English (“Queens language” is more comfortable). The majority of the ignorant lot used to ask me why is it that I continue to speak in North Indian mother tongue, Hindi (also assumed to be my mother tongue) and haven’t tried to learn the local language as I’m staying in the southern state now. I chose to stay silent…

Few incidents happened which made me pen down my reaction to this generously accepted perception of HINDI being a North Indians “mother tongue”. First to mark was when I visited a short course on international communication at IIM-B( No brainer now!!!!) and one of the esteemed lecturer made a silent cry about how resident from North India come to Karnataka but still speak in Hindi and don’t make an effort to learn Kannada. A few months back a local corporator or some “TYPE” of politician made a statement that any resident who has either bought a house in Bangalore or has been living for more than 10yrs will have to learn Kannada. To him – what you earn comes from the pocket of the people who are paying tax for the state. Secondly, every state has a mother tongue and language of its own. Hindi is just the commonly used language across India and once stated as the National language of India.

As Hindi is not a language that comes from any particular state in the northern side of India, every citizen has some or the other mother tongue that they follow. Every state in north or east have their own local language. - UP has multiple languages, Awadhi, Bundeli, Braj Bhasha, Kannauji, Bhojpuri and Bagheli, in Rajasthan people speak Marwari, Mewari, Dhundhari, Mewati and Harauti, Uttarakhand has Kumauni and Gardhwali, Gujrat has Gujrati, Punjab has Punjabi, etc.

Hence, if one feels that anyone who speaks Hindi comes from North and that Hindi is his Mother tongue and should learn the local language, It's a sincere request, that please realize that it's not. And anyone would love to learn the state language but should only do it if it's extremely needful and moreover if the other are willing to learn their mother tongue!!!! Because HINDI is not a typical North Indian's mother tongue.


Otherwise, to think of it - At this rate we should gear up for learning at least the 22 languages recognized in the constitution of India to start with.

I hope that in it's own way this small piece was able to shatter the myth!!!

Again, let’s not obliterate the essence of India which is inimitable to any other only because of the Unity in diversity. Our constitution in itself is written by the people and not just for the people by someone.…

Leaving with the Preamble –

 “ WE, THE PEOPLE OF INDIA, having solemnly resolved to constitute India into a SOVEREIGN SOCIALIST SECULAR DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC and to secure to all its citizens:

JUSTICE, social, economic and political;

LIBERTY of thought, expression, belief, faith and worship;

EQUALITY of status and of opportunity;

and to promote among them all

FRATERNITY assuring the dignity of the individual and the unity and integrity of the Nation;

IN OUR CONSTITUENT ASSEMBLY this twenty-sixth day of November, 1949, do HEREBY ADOPT, ENACT AND GIVE TO OURSELVES THIS CONSTITUTION.